Time Machine

If I had a time machine- that could actually go to the past, not a wormhole driven one that can only go back to the first moment it had existed- I'd first use it to go back and fix certain things (in cascading order; that is, if the first thing doesn't work, on to the second):

• 5 year old KJ would have been off making friends and going to soccer practice
• 8 year old KJ would have learned an active interest in computers, and developed discipline with his computers. And soccer practice.
• 12 year old KJ wouldhave had some fucking friends. Good lord 7th grade was bad
• 13 year old KJ would have laughed when a certain Caitlyn Neiman asked him out by showing him her thong.
• 13 year old KJ would have broken the fuck up with her.
• 14 year old KJ would have been fucking happy to be out of that cluster fuck.
• 15 year old KJ would have tried harder to stay with Aimee, trusted her more and enjoyed her more
• 16 year old KJ would have gotten his fucking license ASAP
• 17 year old KJ would have actually done the job he was hired to do
• 17 year old KJ would not have quit his job
• 17 year old KJ would not have taken on another job he was not ready for
• 18 year old Kirk would be working instead of going to school